Almost a year ago the thought came up in my head, shall I shave me head?! I'm like that, very impulsive and usually regret things after but hey sometimes its better to try then to regret. The only reason I was going to do it back then was more or a shallow thing, because it would be bad ass!
Recently the thought came back to me but for a completely different reason… I'm in a moment in life where I'm trying to ”find myself” so to speak. I'm going on a journey deeper then the surface. I try to stop, take time to reflect and also question myself and my actions and try to learn from it. A thing I think everybody should do, be more aware, discover yourself…who are Y O U ? Cause I didn't bloody know and still don’t! And trust me you will be surprised, many of the things i discovered is that I was hiding behind a so called front but really thought that was who I am.
We live in a society today that fixing your hair is more important then to fix your fucked up soul… It's sad to see and especially moving back to Sweden after 9 years in London the shallowness got to me even more. It's all about hairextensions, fake lashes, brows, tans, surgery etc etc For women there is so much femininity and according to many, long hair is sexy. Also life takes over and making money, thinking about career and worry about things when you should worry about your own development within, which a lot of people tend to forget and don't realise that being connected with your inner self and knowing the real you takes you places and makes you feeling in peace with yourself.
Sooo to get to the point why I shaved my head is because I'm sick and tired of being a ’woman’ and feminine in peoples eyes. This is a test, a test only for myself to see how I will feel about myself even when I'm without my most precious hair. I want to feel beautiful without it and work on my inner self to feel no matter how I look like I want to love myself 100% and I also want to accept my bad sides and be one with them. I know this is a pretty big challenge for me since I always change my hair and that's what people recognise me for, I want to dettach myself from that and not being recognised for my hair but for me and my soul . I also want to see how other people look at me, how the world will pursue this shaved head of mine and that itself will be a huge challenge aswell.
You probably think I'm on some hippieshit but I don't care and I know I have to do this. I'm trying to connect to my inner child to have no judgement, laugh when I want to, cry when I want to… Society have this picture of you on how you suppose to be and act and it's a shame that so many are blending in to it.
As I said I did this for me without telling a lot of people and my drastic change feels good. I didn't do it for likes and love from others but booiii a lot of people seem to love it and that makes me happy off course but what makes me even happier is that I did it for me and believe it or not I feel more beautiful then ever! And that was the whole point, for ME to love it…
I'm tired of being feminine and I will rock this bald head like a queen (even though at times I might cry haha) I woke up this morning feeling even more beautiful then I did yesterday. Recognise me for me, I am NOT my hair…